How Do You Fire a Friend?

Unless you strictly work from home, chances are you have made some ‘work friends’ with whom you can eat lunch and share opinions. It’s great to come to work and feel comfortable with the people you work with and it goes hand in hand with morale.

It’s also very important as a manager that you have a good relationship with your staff. One of the pitfalls of being a new manager, especially if you are in the trenches with your staff and not alone in your office all day, is that you begin to develop deeper relationships. You become Facebook friends, you go out for Friday afternoon drinks, and you meet up on weekends and get to know their families. All of this is great, if your staff is meeting the standards you have set forth. But, what happens when you have to take disciplinary action against a friend? This has been an ongoing dilemma for me, as the ‘friendly’ boss I have gotten to know my employees on a personal level.

Recently, a young staff member began to slack on her work performance. We had mini-meetings where I tried to influence her and give her the resources she needed to get back on track. We developed training and manuals. I reminded her of her job description and that she was the face of our office. Yet through all of my efforts, she was still procrastinating on her work duties. I would walk by her desk and she would be watching movies or talking on her phone.

Yes, I’m the cool boss. No, I don’t care if you have free time and want to entertain yourself. But soon, the complaints began to pile up and the execs wanted answers. I went to her and explained the situation she was putting me in and how her lack of accountability was affecting her standing. I thought that by conveying this sense of urgency to her, she would see the error of her ways.

She didn't.  It wasn't long before she was placed on a performance improvement plan. Surely, I thought, this will open her eyes to the problem and she will strive to improve. She didn't.  Together we talked with the execs who also clarified their concerns. She must be willing to listen to them! She didn't.

The trend continued until a decision had to be made. I had to recommend her termination and it left such a deep pit in my stomach that I haven’t quite crawled out yet. She was a friend, I knew her family, we had a relationship beyond work, but as a manager I couldn't let that influence me into letting her slack on the job or continuously make excused for her low performance.

In the weeks following her termination, we haven’t spoken, and that made me realize one other important thing – we weren't really good friends. If we had been, she would have not have put me in that situation. Even though I have to work a little harder until we find a new hire and I may have severed a bridge, I feel a 100% that I made the right decision. I closed the door on a person who was taking advantage of our ‘friendship’ and realized that as a manager I have to be as unbiased as possible regarding work performance.

I plan to continue being the cool boss, but I won’t make the mistake of putting my own reputation on the line for a person who obviously doesn't value my position or hold themselves accountable in the workplace.